I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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