Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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