I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
