she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
