Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
