so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
