omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
