Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
