How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
