Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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