Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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