He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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