..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
