He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
COCAINE IS GR8
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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