I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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