the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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