like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
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No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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