Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
