marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
