hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
