The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
