"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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