He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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