These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
