remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
