Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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