we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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