lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
