I'm drive I can fine osifer
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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