I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
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i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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