Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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