Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
