if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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