so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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