No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
