Your face is a jimmy john
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm too high and old for this...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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