She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
