My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
