I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
