is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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