so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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