There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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