New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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