Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
