Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
