I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
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I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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