Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i out mim tonsoeep
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