The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
