Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
