maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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