he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
