Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
