i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
operation have a gay friend backfired
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
