If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
