Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
