so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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