Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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