she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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