Screwed.edu
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
There r osticjed everywhere
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
