Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
