god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
