:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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