Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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