I think I am morally bankrupt
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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