Just mADE A PArabola og urine
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am naked and annoyed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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