Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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