I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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